Losing yourself

The world has so much to offer to you. Drama, action, love, hatred and what not. Many of the inhabitants of this world get lost in this mundane ruckus and this just makes them regret life more. "I wish I was firm about going into army..." "I wish I had studied a bit more hard..." "I wish I had been more polite with my girlfriend..." People do say that . It is not a theatrical. People bury that in their hearts and when they break, this is what comes out with a bucket full of anger and tears and violence.

Yes, what I write today did not mean anything to me a year ago. Yes, this effort of writing down my mind full of concussion may mean nothing to everyone. But, there shall be one person who will read this, and that person shall find peace that the world is all the same - the people are all the same. You will never get beyond it, the world will always win. What truly matters is keeping peace with your inner self - whether what you did was a fruit of your conscience or a result of envy or hatred or even affection from some other person.

My sense of comparison is very vague. I firmly believe I believe in my religion, but I also respect what some other people have to say about life too, people like Marshall Mathers III, whose breathless flow of fire makes him "Eminem". The Gita has always been a a lamp for me in the long difficult road of life, and it has just taught me to toil on without worrying. Of course, someone reading this will counter question my belief that it is my perception that life is so dull, and there are small things in life to love and live with them. I disagree no more. But, even to get to those small things you love, didn't you sacrifice a lot? Did you not put in futile efforts and worked like a beast to see that small thing you love? Yes, you did, and so I prove that life has always been difficult, do not fuck it up. Pardon my French.

I am electrical engineer, and I stand with pride that I sacrificed a lot to reach here. If I hadn't stopped writing back in school, or even enjoying small things like playing, I wouldn't have been able to pass school. If I had not stopped smoking, I would have sunk in the delirium it brought during high school. If I hadn't put all my effort to learn rather than just scoring well on exams in my undergraduate school, I would not have been where I am here. But, the bloody catch that life has to offer - when you love someone, you have to sacrifice being you. I can just smile back at myself now. I grew hard like a stone, but why? Just to melt like butter in a pan when life has a deal to make with you, which could sound like a one-time offer in life? Does life give second chances to those who really have sacrificed just to reach the pinnacle of a place where they shall be alone?

On the contrary, what would life be without all this? I am contradicting myself, and confusing you with what I am trying to imply. Yes, I have something important to imply, for the people who know and do not know me. I shall lose myself to the only aim in life that I have ever wanted. There is a message to someone I love at the moment inside here. I love the people with all my heart when I love them, but if I have hurt you or will hurt you, please consider thinking on this: there is something important than me in your life too, and vice versa. They say you shall sell your soul to reach that pinnacle of success where you shall be alone, but there is always time to climb down for those who pushed you up. I may lose myself to my passion and push you away, but my heart will always have a place for you.