Monday, October 24, 2016

Being Alone

Time is something nobody has control over. At times, it can be lovely in the midst of family and friends, while it becomes difficult when one is far lost from the idea of life and is troubled by pain, physical or mental. An ideal human being would be the one who adapts to whatever comes, it's way. This would be an ideal concept to some, because even though change is an inevitable part of life, breaking away from the tethers of the comfort zone keeps one at bay from that goal one is waiting for. A lost friendship, a dream job, a new home or long lost love to be reclaimed: whatever it may be, one needs that one thing in life to accept change and get what good life has kept aside for them.

Change is inevitable, but not easy. Not all humans find it easy to adapt change. Some may embrace it readily, some may not for the fear of change, while some will be unsure of what to do. Those who have accepted change need not even read further what I wish to say. The other two categories of people need to understand why I said so. 

I did put up a picture of a soldier smoking. Though whatever is written on the image was said by someone Americans don't like, there is something we all need to learn from it, and it's definitely not smoking. I do not advocate any intoxication, but those who feel the need of it are welcome to try it. What we need to do sometimes is to sit alone with what is comfy to us, and introspect. To think of possibilities, to understand why changing for the new level of things is important, to fathom why is there a need of pain to adapt to the new realm which looks promising but we fear to enter.

I am a graduate student in America and I come from India. Many Americans may feel I am a mama's boy, must've stayed with my parents, come here on their money and definitely not independent. Even the Indian-Americans feel the same for me which I could not help witness a lot of times. Embracing the fact that this new country is my "Karmabhoomi", my land where I will perform my "karma" was a grave decision in itself. Then, to embrace the culture of the new place and to mingle with people was another step. Getting used to the accent, the jargon of my studies, the slang as well, a lot needs effort. I am not here just to roam around like a tourist?! I have to study and become well-rounded! 

Another difficulty is talking to everyone directly. Its not as simple as being home. At home, especially in a joint family, you have no trouble if it's food or money, you have the support of others. Being alone is a lot different! You have to call and ask people for help and that way, life caught me red-handed: I just cannot talk to people for help. I do not know small talk. I can't ask my cousins how they are, or my aunt how her health is. Or even ask my mother how does she feel without me at home. The only thing I ask for is money for bills and to find a job.

Dealing with such a problem becomes tough when you really have nobody else to consult about this. But, every question has an answer which can be found by "being alone", in the sense that we introspect, find our faults and rectify it. I feel introspection does take time: you cannot get a million dollar idea to solve your problem over one coffee or one evening sometimes. Every person has their own limitations. If I cannot solve an electrical engineering problem, I am confident enough to sit alone and solve it overnight. But my attitude? Nah. Not so easy. The same kind of problem may be the reason why they cannot succeed with something. I am still thinking how to cure myself of the loss of words on the phone!

One can see that dealing with their own problems makes them more aware of what they are capable of. To quote an example, it would be my teacher's job to teach me 2 x 2 = 4, but it's my job to think how can it help me with my daily life! Not overthinking, but a moderate and firm introspection is what can help everybody turn into an individual who can defeat the "comfort zone" wall and reach into a new realm. However, it is not a substitute for action, you introspect to make plans on how to act to make things work out for you. But yes, planning helps, and that is what introspection and solitude helps you to do: to plan on what to do.